Opinions of a murri woman...

Opinions of a murri woman...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

'Don't Be Shame, Be Game'



Another day, another topic.... This one is a lil close to home and a little personal, but I feel it's important to touch on...

'Self Esteem'...

I'm a country girl with a humble upbringing... A murri girl born and bred on farming lands on The Atherton Tablelands in Far North Queensland. My mum is an aboriginal woman and my dad a scotsman who immigrated from the highlands of Glasgow on the other side of the world. Together they formed me and our family lived a life of simple pleasures on very little money.

The first years of my childhood consisted of growing up on a dairy farm (not owned by us) with my cousins who lived in the house infront of us. We'd play backyard footy, go to the creek, go bike riding and if we were lucky, play 'Mortal Combat' on the nintendo 64... All in all, I had a pretty good up bringing compared to others.

Those that know me now, find it hard to believe that I actually suffered from depression and lacked in self confidence in my teenage years... I didn't like going out in public, going shopping or meeting new people. I hated school, I wasn't smart and I hated the town I lived in. I was shy and the most disappointing part was I hated myself. Being a shy black girl growing up in the country disabled me from being proud and happy all through out my teens...

I soon went on to leave the Tablelands, leave high school and start working in the industry of radio, but not after years of self hate and self doubt... My career in radio is one I see as a life saver... Out of all the industries to work in, I chose the one which would require me to come out of my shell and expose myself to thousands across the airwaves. I love the radio industry because I love music and talking, but I also love it because it pushes me to my limits and enables me to grow and develop confidence everyday.

I still suffer from shyness every now and then, but to most, I'm a pretty out going person who now loves to meet people, party and live my life. To some, I'm an over confident loud chick who loves herself, and to a point it's true. In my experience, I have learnt that you need to love yourself, and you need to trust in your decisions and be yourself 100%, regardless of what anyone else thinks of you.

One of the biggest issues plaguing our Indigenous youth I believe, is a lack of self confidence and a lack of self belief... I've given talks and visited communities and schools, and everytime, I meet and observe kids that are just like how I used to be... 'SHAME'... The word 'Shame' to our mob is so disabling, that it stops us from reaching our full potentials.

It's okay to have a little self doubt every now and then, because once we get over it and achieve what we want to achieve, it all makes us stronger in the long run, but for those that can't see a future for themselves because they are too shame to go after their dreams, or too shame to talk to someone when they're going through a hard time, they are usually the ones we read about in the 'death section' of our newspapers. It's harsh and it's confronting, but from experience, I know this is the cold hard truth. Our teenagers are dying too young, because others are too busy telling them they can't and won't amount to anything and they are believing it.

I have a 12 year brother who will be hitting his teenage years in less than 4 months time. I am the way I am because I want to show him that his life is worth as much as the next persons and that he too can achieve big things, even if he thinks he can't.

At the age of 25, I don't apologise for any self confidence I may have, because the things I have been through and the things I have done in my life have made me into the woman I am today and it's taken me a long time to develope it all... I have no regrets... The old me drives the new me to succeed and hopefully set a good example for the children in my family and wider community who want to overcome 'shame' and live their lives to their full potentials...

Until next time... Be strong, be proud and be deadly....


One Love, One Life.... X

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