Opinions of a murri woman...

Opinions of a murri woman...

Monday, September 3, 2012

Love Is Cursed By Technology Monogamy....

The problem with being a single black female in her late 20's is knowing exactly what to expect from the dating game and it's temporary males...

Sigh... I live in a place where there are few single men available... The type of guys I have to choose from in my area average at the least... Most have kids (not that there's anything wrong with that), a crazy ex baby momma, a psycho ex girlfriend/girlfriends,HAVE a girlfriend/girlfriends,  still live at home, and drink or smoke up like its going out of fashion... Not to mention, most have no idea how to approach women or engage in conversation without bringing up the size of my breasts or 'lets hook up' lines... YAWN

So with these choices of men, how do I manage to meet guys? Well the answer is I don't really... With a teenage brother in my care, it's not like I can go out and meet different people all the time so my choices for meeting people are on the off chance I go out, through friends or family or online (facebook, twitter etc)

Reality is, I won't meet any guy's in my local area anytime soon.. Here's the truth of the situation: I have zero interest in farmers and wannabe player BOYS that live where I live so I don't even bother... White boys, ya'll are nice but there's only so far I can go with you before my real self comes out, and that level of blackness can only be handled by a black man if we're being honest ... It's a level of comfortablity for a black woman that you get with black boys that a white boy could never understand... Sounds bad, but for me personally, I find it to be true...

It's like I have blurred vision with the men in my area, it's like they're invisible to me to the point that I don't even pay attention to anyone in my town or surrounding area because I already know what to expect....


So where does that leave me? I don't go looking for men, I have no interest in the opposite sex because of the shit I've been through with every guy in my past so I ignore them and go about my business as a single girl... To some this might be a sad situation but to me, I don't know any different and enjoy my own company so its normal for me,and i function as a single female just fine :)

With all the advancements in technology these days, this has also meant it is easier for guys to come in and out of my life when and how they want too.... The problem with this is, its easier to develop emotional attachments more so than just the physical attachment if using technology to meet different people.. Since I have no interest in men in my area, this has meant meeting people from all over, and more often than not, guys that are a long way away from me...

I have this bad habit (my friends will back me up on this) of meeting guys that live far away from me...  I invented a new philosophy earlier this year dubbed 'Replace faith with reality' where with every guy I meet I place all the cards out on the table with myself and have realistic expectations about them... So i asked myself, What's this guy like? What kind of guy is this? What will REALISTICALLY happen and what won't?!

Distance is one of those situations where I've been there, done that and it's never worked out but this doesn't stop me from talking to guys who are far away from me? Why? Well due to the fact that there aren't any guys close by that I'm attracted too in anyway, why wouldn't I talk to someone who's far away and who's half interesting? BUT in saying that, I'm realistic with my expectations these days with men who live far away from me..

Although technology has expanded our options in meeting someone from the opposite sex, it also has it's many downfalls... There's a trend that my girlfriends and I are starting to notice with guys we meet online... Fulla's, what is it about being able to hide behind a phone screen or a computer screen and talk to a girl for months on end but when it's time to meet up, some of you jam up?! Its very clear; you've either got a girlfriend and have been playing us the whole time or you've just been doing it to boost your own ego's or even better, you're just bitches.... Am I wrong with all the above ladies? I don't think so...

Either way, the women of today don't need that, we don't all put up with it... With so many options of ways to meet an talk to the opposite sex this day in age using technology, its so easy to cheat and have half arsed relationships with more than one person for both males and females... Anyone who says that's not true needs to wake up and smell the roses... Love is cursed by monogamy as Kanye says... So true...


This cat and mouse game that guys play with us isn't surprising to us women, its not disappointing it's simply just a reality we've become used too and the messed up thing is, most just accept that behavior because it's very rare that we'll ever get a guy that will challenge our theories. Most women don't know the world of NOT being messed around or being played by a guy, but that's the single game these days; technology has taken away the human aspect of people meeting people and all we are left with are unemotional men who see us as fantasies in their digital worlds...

For the fellas reading this (who am I kidding, no guy would want to read something from a chick who says shit straight, but Imma say it anyways), 'FELLAS, please understand that us women of the 21st century don't all want relationships, we aren't all looking to marry you or be your baby's new momma, sometimes all we want is what you want... Same expectations... For the modern woman, most of the time we're so sick and tired of the games that men play that all we do is play back and be done with you like you are done with us.... Is this a bad thing? Debatable... All I'm saying is, that it's do-able and we're not all clingy bitches with unrealistic expectations, some of us are just independent women and are fed up with men's shit behavior...

Then there's the issue of guys believing that girls over think things,  but what about men? For example, with these acquaintances that are at a distance from me, do they seriously think that because we talk everyday that my intention is to leave my life and move away to be with them; that I've fallen for them?! UMM NO! We don't always want to be your girlfriend and don't all demand a future from you, some of us 'replace faith with reality'.... Instead of freaking out and thinking the girl in your life is getting attached to you, lad's please use you're brains, stop stereotyping us as typical women wanting all from you, just calm down and go with the flow, GEEZZ!!

Men tend to run away or act like dogs as soon as they think us women are in too deep... All I'm saying is that some women of today don't expect anything from men because screw over after screw over has taught us that expectations only result in disappointments... When we replace faith with reality we see our intentions much more clearly.. 


I know there will be a lot of people who will debate and disagree with me on this but I know I'm not alone in the fact when I say 'we're not all looking for prince charming'... Plenty of my sister girls are in the same boat and I know they'll all be nodding their heads in agreement or at least starting to realize that there may be some truth to what I'm saying, even if they don't want to admit to it!

The problem is, I'm never looking for a man, they always seem to come into my life when I'm going good and don't want anybody... Note to anyone brave enough to take me on in the future: 'if you're going to enter my life and annoy me, then at least be a man about it and follow through with your intentions, if not, it's quite simple; just leave me alone... Either way, I'm good :)

Until next time,

One love, one life

Cee xo

1 comment:

  1. Thanks very much for your large information .And knowledge full description . I think it is Sus a topic that many kinds of people face many problems. thanks for this.
    meeting people,

    ReplyDelete